


Millennial Mineral Menace

by ElDiablito_SF



Series: SF Verse [3]
Category: Black Sails
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Hipsters, M/M, Parades
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 06:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11269968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElDiablito_SF/pseuds/ElDiablito_SF
Summary: Happy Pride Month, everyone!  Eleanor makes Flint actively participate in the parade activities with her.  Obviously, he won't be going without a small entourage.





	Millennial Mineral Menace

**Author's Note:**

> I kept wanting to come back to this verse and @significanceofmoths on Tumblr inspired me to do something in honor of Pride. 'Tis silly but then again, so am I. XD
> 
> Also, I'd like to thank Gemma for a very inspirational hipster aesthetic post.

It was a tried and true adage that no good deed went unpunished, and no one was more aware of it than one James Flint, Esq. As Eleanor Guthrie was overly fond of reminding him, one could not be considered the pillar of the community if one did not fully participate in the aforementioned community’s activities and celebrations. And that was why, she had added with no small amount of demonic glee, Flint & Guthrie, LLP was getting a float in this year’s Pride Parade.

“And you’re coming,” she added, crossing her arms and assuming a very no-nonsense stance. “Don’t even try to talk your way out of it. We’re getting a tent at the Civic Center, and our Associates will be providing pro bono legal advice. It'll be great PR and I need you with me on the float.”

“You’re awfully bossy for someone who isn’t technically even my boss,” Flint snarled at his partner. “What the hell could you possibly need me on that float for?”

“Eye candy,” Eleanor winked.

“Eleanor, I’m not your fucking eye candy!”

“I wasn’t talking about you. I assumed you’d be bringing your boy toy, yes?”

“My what now?”

“Silver? The part-time underwear model?”

“He’s not a part-time… oh, never-fucking-mind!” Flint sank into his chair with an exaggerated sigh. “I’m all for equal opportunity objectification, but I cannot invite him to Pride as my… um… accoutrement.” 

“Of course not!” Eleanor clasped her hand to her heart. “You’d be inviting him to Pride because you’re incredibly and exceptionally _gay_.”

“Hm, do you think he noticed?” Flint smirked and reached for his mobile to text Silver, over the internal monologue of his own objections. 

***

Sunday morning and already Flint was wishing it was Monday. First of all, he had to take the underground Muni to Civic Center, instead of transferring to the F Market, which of course had to be closed to accommodate the multitudes of writhing humanity, all a-march. The F Market had always been his favorite, not only because it afforded a nice top-side view, but because of the pleasing nostalgia of being able to ride in old, discontinued train cars from all over the world.

When he dared to voice this disgruntlement to Eleanor, she had immediately accused him of being a thousand years old. 

“Nice tie!” he snapped back at her, in an exercise of futility. In fact, the tie she had been wearing _was_ quite nice, and it sat smartly around the starched collar of one of her pristine, white work shirts. Except this one had been tied off as a mid-riff beneath her bosom. Flint was oddly flummoxed to discover Eleanor had a pierced bellybutton. 

“I brought sunscreen,” Silver pronounced, bouncing up and down as if it wasn’t far too early for him to even be awake. He handed Flint a… thing… that Flint would have never pegged for sunscreen. “It’s 100% organic,” Silver explained. “They use minerals instead of chemicals which is like, a thousand times better for your skin. And you have really sensitive skin.”

“Shut up, I do not,” Flint grumbled, still eyeing the container suspiciously.

“Just,” Silver took it out of his hands with a motherly eyeroll. “I’ll put it on you, you fucking relic. I know sunscreen technology is beyond you.” He then proceeded to twist the bottom of the tube making a brush pop out the top.

“Are you going to put sunscreen on me or powder my nose?”

“Oh ye of little faith,” Silver retorted, intensely brushing invisible minerals all over Flint’s nose, his forehead, and the rest of his freckled face.

“There’s nothing coming out of that thing,” Flint pointed out, helplessly, as Silver continued to tickle his (definitely sensitive) skin with the ridiculous brush applicator.

“I’ll have you know, this is a very respectable and costly product. You don’t wanna know the shit I had to do to score some of this.”

“You’re probably right about that,” Flint agreed.

“You can ask my sister when she gets here. She’s a sales rep for this stuff.”

Flint paused, his hand catching Silver’s wrist. “You… invited your sister? To Pride?”

“Yeah? And?” Silver’s eyes sparkled in the morning sunlight like the sea by the Amalfi Coast. Not for the first time, did that sparkle make Flint want to kidnap the kid and take him on a long European vacation. To some place without fixies. 

In other news, Flint was doing his best not to think the one oppressive thought. Was he really ready to meet Silver’s _family_?

“I don’t know,” Flint stuttered, doing a piss poor job at covering up his confusion. “Pride isn’t everyone’s thing.”

“Oh, it’s very much Max’s thing. She’s a lesbian.”

“Ah,” Flint replied, casting about for something to do that would allow him to escape the quagmire of awkwardness into which he'd inadvertently been descending. “You never said.”

“Well, allow me to apologize for the oversight,” Silver snorted and pulled someone up onto the float. “James, this is my sister Max, the lesbian. Max, this is my gay lover, James.”

“Charmed,” the girl replied, tucking a loose curl under her beanie. “John’s told me so much about you, leaving very little to the imagination.”

Flint coughed and grabbed Eleanor by the elbow, turning her about forcefully, because this was all somehow entirely her fault. “And this is my partner, Eleanor. The practicing bisexual.”

“What the hell does _that_ mean?” Eleanor snapped before her eyes fell upon the new arrival. “Oh… hi.”

“I’m Max. John invited me.” She extended her hand towards Eleanor and cocked her head to the side as she smiled. Flint observed she had the same wily way of disarming people as Silver did, with his goofy grins and wind-tossed curls, and eyes like precious stones. No wonder she made her living selling minerals to hipsters and yuppies. She could probably sell ice to Eskimos.

“Oh… right…” On the other hand, Flint’s never seen Eleanor this incoherent before. “John… he’s your…?”

“Brother.”

“Brother! How fabulous!”

Flint cleared his throat. It did not appear that either woman was about to let go of the other’s hand. It was the longest handshake in the history of handshakes, as far as Flint was concerned.

“We were both adopted by our foster parents,” Max added, still shaking Eleanor’s hand.

“That’s fantastic!” Eleanor gushed and Flint fake-coughed again. “Flint and I actually work on many adoption cases!”

“Eleanor, why don’t you find something useful for Max to do,” Flint suggested, giving her a friendly shove. 

“Right.” Reluctantly, Eleanor let go of Silver’s sister’s hand. “Would you like to help me throw condoms off the float?”

“Yeah, that’d be rad.”

“What have you done?” Flint hissed in Silver’s ear. “They’ll be getting a U-Haul by sundown!”

“Listen, old man,” Silver leaned against him, resuming his chosen occupation of brusher-on-of-imagined-sunscreen. Flint still did not believe in fucking minerals. They were probably a hipster conspiracy, like air bars. “Just because you’re afraid of commitment, doesn’t mean everyone else has to live in fear.”

“I’m not afraid of commitment, fuck off,” Flint protested, pulling Silver closer and sucking his lower lip in between his teeth.

“Okay, so we’ve been fucking for something like nine months now and this is the first time you’re meeting my sister. And you’ve never even introduced me to your friends.”

“I don’t have any friends. Only partners and enemies.”

“Enemies is a bit harsh, don’t you think?” Silver laughed. “You could at least start off with ‘rivals’ or something.”

“To have rivals, one must first have equals.”

These words were accompanied by sudden confetti cannons going off around them, followed by cocaphanous blowing of various whistles and horns. The float had commenced its movement down Market Street. A sudden flurry of activity wrapped them both up in the mayhem of screaming and a hale-storm of carnival beads and stray packets of lube that flew through the air like demented pigeons.

Silver rematerialized at Flint’s side, hair and tank top wet from a water blaster and a purple boa in his hands, which he hastened to wrap around Flint’s neck. “That’s the most drama queen thing you’ve ever said!” he shouted into Flint’s ear over the noise of the parade.

“I don’t like people!” Flint shouted back.

“Happy Pride!” Eleanor shouted behind them as a rain of colorful condoms with the logo of Flint & Guthrie, LLP rained down on the gathered masses from their float.

***

“You know, it was so much better back in the day,” Flint was lamenting to Max, who, having run out of condoms hours later, leaned against Eleanor in an overly familiar slump. “Ever since they started to televise the Pride Parade, it’s gotten so fucking tame. There’s no spontaneity, no authenticity. Very little nudity,” he added, with visible regret. “Fucking corporate sponsorship!” Flint snorted and punched their own float. 

“I love listening to you bitch,” Silver said, passing Max a hastily rolled joint. “Story hour with Captain Crankypants. What do you think, Max? Should we do a podcast with that name?”

“What is _that_ guy doing here and why is he shirtless again?” Flint pointed to a group of firemen, after taking a long drag on the spliff as it was making the rounds.

“Are you seriously complaining about shirtless men at Pride, old man?” Silver laughed. “Weren’t you _just_ lamenting the absence of nudity?”

“That’s Charles Vane,” Eleanor said, lowering and then slipping her sunglasses back up her nose. “We used to fuck,” she explained to Max.

“What’s he doing at Gay Pride, then?” Flint snorted.

“Hello? Bisexuals exist!” Eleanor angrily pointed to a button with those exact words on her lapel, right next to a heart-shaped pin that read simply “Boy Bye”. Silver then pointed to a button on his own tank top that read “Bi Boi.”

“I’m surrounded,” Flint sighed and miserably drank the free water with the logo of a nearby nightclub on it.

***

“Your nose is sunburned,” Silver whispered, buttressing Flint up against a wall and pressing his hot mouth to the tip of Flint’s nose.

“Ouch. I told you the minerals were bullshit.” Flint grinned. He was far too tired, too high, and too horny to argue, yet he was going to sally once more. “Hipster sunscreen! Pah!”

“Let me find some aloe for you.”

“Nah-uh,” Flint pulled Silver back against him. “I don’t trust your hipster aloe.”

“I’ll go to Rite Aid. It’ll be totally mainstream, I swear.” Silver was laughing as Flint was attempting to chew both his lower and upper lip, fingers tangled in his curls, pressing them bodily together to the sounds of music blaring from the loudspeakers. Silver’s hips swayed to the beat, undulating under the soft pressure of Flint’s hands.

“You like this song?” Flint practically purred against Silver’s ear. It was possible the heatstroke and dehydration were getting to him, but he vibrated with joy at the feel of Silver’s body palpitating against him to the upbeat singing coming from the stage.

“Sure do,” Silver nodded, his eyes closed, his hair falling into his face in unstoppable waves. “I love this artist.”

“Who the hell is this?” Flint attempted to sound as interested as he could.

“It’s him.”

“Him who?”

“No, you fossil, not _him_. H-Y-M. HYM.”

“Why am I supposed to know who that is?” Flint wondered.

“Because he’s a gay rapper and he fucking rules?”

“If you say so,” Flint said agreeably, pulling Silver closer again, his fingers lost in the thick mane of curls. “Did you have a good time today?” he asked, with such fondness in his voice that had he been more sober, he would’ve likely been ashamed.

“Not as good as the time I’m planning on having when we get back to your place.”

“John…” Flint held his face in both hands. The lights off the main stage reflected around his wild curls like a gloriole, casting the rest of Silver’s face into chiaroscuro to rival some of the best Renaissance art Flint had ever seen. He definitely needed to take this youngling to Italy. Or at least to a nice Italian restaurant. Some place that served locally grown cuisine, so as to appeal to Silver’s sensibilities.

“Yyyyyeeeesssss?” Silver hissed into Flint’s mouth, his body serpentine and lithe and entirely too sensual to be seen in public.

“I’m glad I met your sister.”

“Not as glad as Eleanor,” Silver replied with a knowing wink.

“And I’m not afraid of commitment,” Flint said quietly, hoping Silver could hear him over the rapping coming out of the loudspeakers. “I just… I wasn’t expecting this.”

“Weren’t expecting what?” Silver’s fingers sat hotly against the nape of Flint’s neck.

“You, I guess.”

Silver smiled and pressed closer against Flint’s chest. “Does that mean next time I can introduce you as my boyfriend instead of my gay lover?” He avoided Flint’s gaze as he spoke, but Flint could feel the flushing heat of his ears beneath his own fingers.

“I kind of like it when you just refer to me as ‘fossil.’”

“I’ll introduce you as my fossil: Captain Crankypants.”

Flint laughed, giddy from the sun, the crowds, the music, but mostly from the way Silver’s body felt pressed so close to his. A sea of other bodies swayed all around them. Rain of glitter from a cannon covered them in glittering crap that would take days to wash out completely. And Flint couldn’t get enough of kissing Silver that entire time.

“Happy Pride, John,” he whispered into Silver’s mouth, his eyes still shut.

“Your nose is going to peel, isn’t it?” Silver murmured softly, hanging around Flint’s neck, the purple boa slung across his own exposed, evenly tanned shoulders.

“It will be worth it, if I get to give you shit about it forever.”

Silver’s smile was brighter than the sun. “Forever is a long time to commit to, oh fossil mine.”

“Shut up, hatchling.”

“Take me home and make me, old man.”

Silver did not, in fact, shut up the entire ride back to West Portal, or even for the hour following their arrival at Flint’s place. But, Flint had to admit, there were few things he enjoyed more in the world than having Silver scream his name loud enough to wake the neighbors.


End file.
